9-15-13 All Tied Up

I've had the blahs lately. Life is marching on and nothing is too bad, but I'm just not feeling the joy. My spiritual life feels stale and rather rote. I feel like I'm trying to fly but I've got weights on and strings entangling me. (See, I really did name my blog with thought--I want to fly but am earthbound so often!)

(Picture taken from "Secret of Nimh")

I had a ticket to the Beth Moore simulcast yesterday. I'm not one of her groupies, one of those who has swarmed to her conferences and bought her books and wears her T-shirt. I've done a Bible study she wrote, but have shied (or is it shy-ed?) away from her, just because I truly dislike sitting in a room watching a screen. I'm all about the relationship. But for reasons that are not important here, I had a ticket.

As the day approached I felt more and more that I did NOT want to go. I wanted to stay home and do my own thing. Begin by cleaning, then some laundry, other mundane chores. I would top the whole day off with a wonderful nap. But I had this ticket...

The night before I thought, "I could stay home and no one would notice. It starts at 8:00 after all..." (if you don't know, I am definitely NOT a morning person.) I went in to check the time and found it didn't start until 9:00. Drat. So I had no excuse.

"I'll just go for the morning session, then bug out." That was my plan. 

So, all that to say I was there, not totally willingly. But, as I think is often the case, my reticence to go was directly proportional to the import of what God wanted to teach me. Here's what I learned...

Well, on second thought, let me back up. Some of my "readers" (I make it sound so vast and important, don't I?) are not well-versed in "Spiritual talk." So I'll do a bit of pre-explaining. I'm no expert, but here's how I see things.

God is Holy. Totally. 

We are all, every single one of us, sinners. We are born that way. We continue that way. This creates a vast chasm between us. Totally unbreachable by our own actions. In the older times, there were certain laws that were set up that, if followed, would keep us as clean as possible. This is called "The Law."

God sent Jesus, His only son, into the world to save us. He died on the cross to pay for my sins. He paid the penalty of sin once and for all. Nothing I could do, whether good deeds or self-denial or following the law, could do that. Just Jesus. (I don't pretend to totally grasp this concept--the why's and wherefores--but I know it is true.) 

If a person acknowledges that Jesus is God, that He is the only way to be assured of eternal life after death, and asks to be forgiven he is accepting "His Grace." Living under Grace means that I accept that the work is done. Nothing I can do will make me more "saved."

Anyhow, back to Beth Moore...

She gave us a test to see if we were living under Grace or under The Law (as we all tend to want to DO more--sort of making light of Jesus' sacrifice.)

Here is my paraphrased version of "The Test" (answer "True" or "False"):  (and this is my paraphrase--I apologize if I totally botched it)

1. When I am seeking God's will, do I always assume the hard or unpleasant thing is what God would want me to do?

"For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”--Matthew 11:29-30

2. Do I feel compelled to ask for forgiveness for the same offense again and again?

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." -- I John 1:9

3. Do I have the tendency to not feel back in God's grace after asking forgiveness?

Doesn't this mean that I am trying to DO enough to make myself forgiven?

4. Do I want to pay penance for my sins?

5. Do I think that God loves me in spite of me?

6. Do I find the parable about God paying the workers who have worked differing number of hours the same wage ...disconcerting?

“For the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire workers for his vineyard. 2 He agreed to pay them a denarius[a] for the day and sent them into his vineyard.

“About nine in the morning he went out and saw others standing in the marketplace doing nothing. 4He told them, ‘You also go and work in my vineyard, and I will pay you whatever is right.’ So they went.

“He went out again about noon and about three in the afternoon and did the same thing. About five in the afternoon he went out and found still others standing around. He asked them, ‘Why have you been standing here all day long doing nothing?’

“‘Because no one has hired us,’ they answered.

“He said to them, ‘You also go and work in my vineyard.’

“When evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his foreman, ‘Call the workers and pay them their wages, beginning with the last ones hired and going on to the first.’

“The workers who were hired about five in the afternoon came and each received a denarius. So when those came who were hired first, they expected to receive more. But each one of them also received a denarius. When they received it, they began to grumble against the landowner. ‘These who were hired last worked only one hour,’ they said, ‘and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the work and the heat of the day.’

“But he answered one of them, ‘I am not being unfair to you, friend. Didn’t you agree to work for a denarius? Take your pay and go. I want to give the one who was hired last the same as I gave you. Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?’

“So the last will be first, and the first will be last.”--Matthew 20:1-16

7. Do I deal with anxiety in my spiritual life?

8. Do I condemn myself often?

9. Do I find it easier to tell others that God loves them than to believe that God loves ME?

10. Do I think that I have to keep in close relationship wit those who have wronged me?

"Take special note of anyone who does not obey our instruction in this letter. Do not associate with them, in order that they may feel ashamed."--2 Thess 3:14

"Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them." --Titus 3:10

"If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector." --Matt. 18:17

11. Do I feel guilty because of "how good I have it?"

Grace is the best thing that could ever have happened to me. 

12. Do I often think I am a disappointment to God?

If we feel like we are a disappointment to someone, our natural bent is to distance ourselves from that person. Disappointment means an expectation not met. God knows all. He may be displeased, but not disappointed. 

13. Would you realize the truth of Romans 14:17 from being around me?  

"For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval."


Here I am, one of God's children, saved by Jesus Christ and I am living as though I have to measure up--as if I am still under the law. And I'm not necessarily talking the Old Testament Law, but "My Law."

Well, it hit me, anyway. Hard. That's the baggage that is holding me down. These pesky laws I have set up for myself to follow.

But, then let me tell you a story. While I was sitting there at Beth Moore I kept noticing one woman. She walked in right ahead of me and I noticed her. She sat alone in front of me and I noticed her. I noticed her when we dismissed for lunch, after lunch, break. I felt God telling me to just say something to her.

I'd love to tell you the story of how I did that and we had this instant bond and all was good. But, no, I ignored the nudging. Don't know why, exactly, but I did NOT want to do this thing. So I didn't.

Living under the Law I would say, "I blew it, big time. I am not worthy to be God's child. I will blow it again and again and again. Why don't I just give it up entirely???"

But, living under Grace I am saying, "God, please forgive me for not listening to You. I want to do what pleases You, but again and again I go my own way. Tenderize my heart so that I hear You more clearly and give me the courage to obey You." And, to that woman who wore the Husker T-shirt and had a little limp and sat all alone, I am so, so sorry. I am praying for you right now.

Did any of this make any sense? Sorry I rambled, but it helps me to process things by writing them down.

On a lighter (and older) note...today is Loy's birthday. YAY Loy!! I had ordered some gifts and only one got here in time, poor guy. But, he is having a great day. Almost all the kids have called to wish him a Happy Birthday. And he's watching football. And he took a nap. A good day to be Loy, I think. He'll just have to wear his new pants another day...

Thanks for reading! If I've said something wrong, please comment and call me on it. A discussion would be fun.

Love,

Kitt.

7-20 That's How I Roll...

This summer has been so incredible. It is flying by!! It all began with our trip to Estonia, followed by a trip to Sioux Falls, followed by a whole family trip to Florida, followed by a trip to Phoenix/Flagstaff, followed by a trip to Sioux Falls, to be followed by a trip to Arkansas/Oklahoma. I have thoroughly enjoyed each and every trip.

Figuring that you don't want to hear massive amounts of detail on MY trips, I'll just focus a little bit on Florida. We rented a beach house on the Atlantic side of Florida ON THE BEACH. In my mind there is no use in renting a house across the street from the beach. Or one house in. Or walking distance. I want to go out on my deck, down my stairs, and be on the beach. We even got to take Luke for the week. When we got to the house he ran all over exploring, then exclaimed: "This is the BEST BEACH HOUSE EVER!!!!" Never mind that this was the first beach house he'd ever seen.

He played bellboy when each of the big kids got there, showing them to their assigned room. Then began a week of sitting on the deck, playing in the sand, body surfing, and hide and seek. The kids all told me they would do this again (just not next year. Guess they don't want to spend every year's vacation with ol' Mom and Dad.)

Payton was so cute on the beach, although she wasn't too sure about the waves. She crawled all around the beach house, but kept with Mom and Dad on the beach. And she kept tight rein on all our hearts!

Loy and I have been struck this summer by the fact that we can plan all we want for what our future will look like. But, it doesn't always turn out that way. We have seen several people who were tooling along just fine and illness has made their plans unattainable. People who were, a month ago, planning a retirement of travel and RV-ing but are now struggling with a very serious cancer diagnosis. Women who's husband left for another woman. People who have given up lots of plans to look after ailing parents. They are not on the path they would have planned.

It's got me thinking. I have always looked ahead to my life and what I want it to look like. Getting breast cancer at age 48 was not in my game plan. Raising a 3-7 year old in my early 50's was not what I envisioned. Then, once I adjusted to that, having a 7-year-old taken away was not what I had planned. For that matter, when I was young I thought I would live my whole adult life in Kearney. Things are not usually how we picture them.

But, exactly what DID I want this next stage of our life to look like? Can you believe I had never considered that far in the future? Loy and I have been talking and have no conclusions.

Two of our kids live in Sioux Falls. Two live in Omaha. Do we move to one of those towns? Move to halfway in-between (which is, basically, no where.) Do we stay in Lincoln? Stay in this house? Move down south? I've always been sort of opposed to the older people moving down to communities with just older people. I mean, where are the older people mentoring the neighborhood moms? I have loved my relationships with neighbors who are not in my stage of life. But, now that I'm getting older, I can sure see the appeal. (Do I sound like we're 80-years-old or something? I just like to know what's ahead.)

Then we thought, "Maybe we should go somewhere we might want to retire for 3 months in the summer." With Loy being a professor, that is totally do-able. Then I amended that. "Maybe we should try it for a month first." I'm not sure if Loy and I can stand each other for three months away somewhere!! :)

Have I  mentioned before about a Wall Street Journal article Loy showed me of this couple who sold their house and traveled the world, living in different countries for a month or so at a time? They rented houses and would really live in the country. Not just fly through in a week. They had enough savings and investments to finance this endeavor. If they stayed somewhere expensive (like Paris) one month, then they would go somewhere inexpensive (like Mexico) the next month. They travelled across oceans on cruise ships as they were moving from one seasonal locale to another. This sounds incredibly fun to me--as long as I get to come back to the US to see my family every other month or so. But what if we did it in the US? Then I could fly to see them whenever I wanted...

We're looking for a place to stay for a month next summer. I have no idea if we'll REALLY do this or not. But, part of the fun is the looking. I've been scouring websites for cottages. Quiet. On the water. Something to do nearby. If you have any suggestions, send them my way, OK?

What I want to do is make all my plans, write them all down. They'll be good plans. Serving God, going to church, helping our grandchildren grow to love Jesus, and then add a nice location and house and good health. And I want to hand my list to God and say, "Hey, Big Guy...would you sign off on this, please?"

It's hard to accept, but God wants to hand me a blank list and say, "Hey there, Kitt, Child Whom I Love, would you sign off on this please?" I have to trust that if we get to live on a lake somewhere and kayak together, that will be lovely. But if it doesn't happen, that is God's will. I have no business whinging (a British word--means grumping or complaining or whining. Rhymes with "fringe-ing") about how terrible my life is or how hard I have it. It is what God has determined will be most glorifying to Him.

It's not about me. What?!?!?! Not about me?????!!!!!

It's about glorifying God and enjoying Him forever. (Westminster Catechism)

Now, maybe I could enjoy him more on a lake...   :)

6-2 Still Hovering in Estonia...Then England

One night I was dealing with my jet lag. I could get to sleep on time, but would wake up several hours later and lay there, wide awake, for a couple of hours. On about the third night of this annoying occurrence, I took my two pillows into the tiled shower and layed (laid?) down and read my book. After a couple hours Loy came in and said, "What are you doing in here?" It was all for love, Honey. Loy needs it quiet and dark when he sleeps, so I didn't want to wake him up in the hotel room!

These lions are on the crest of Estonia. At least I think it's the crest. We look at them and think they are such jolly lions--and all are waving "Hello" and smiling. Isn't that a nice crest for a country to have?

On the Wednesday of our trip week we took the bus back to Tallinn, the town where the airport was. There seems to be one touristy thing to do in Tallinn--Old Town. It is pretty much just what it says. The old part of town. Think cobblestone streets and lots of shops. It was cool, but very, very touristy.

We spent the entire day wandering through the town and the shops. I found my prize souvenirs--some teeny, tiny dessert forks (they always served these luscious desserts with tiny forks) and a linen tablecloth with ribbon embroidery on it. My mom would be so proud of me--it was on a clearance rack at 50% OFF!!! Sometimes you just can't deny your heritage...

We ate at an outside cafe where I had a wonderful pork roast meal. Loy went for sausage. We noticed a guy walking around, dressed all in black, holding a sign. Most of the greeters are the outdoor cafes were turning him away, but the one just on the other side of ours was empty. So he walked into that one, walked straight to my back, and stood there behind me with a sign that said, "Welcome to Estonia. Need money for vodka or beer." He just stood there! The workers at our cafe came rushing up and told him to leave (I'm guessing that's what they said, anyway. It was all in Estonian.) He didn't say a word. Just kept standing there. It was kind of freaky. Finally, it took something like four guys to get him to leave. But he stumbled down the street.

The first day in Tallinn we were still a group of five. The next day the other three left for different destinations and Loy and I were alone. I planned a little trip to a park surrounding the President's house. It was a beautiful park with lots of paths to walk. We walked down to the beach and then walked to the city center area. It was a great day to just relax and see the town. I was trying to find a laundromat to wash some undies and other dirties. No one seemed to know of any. The hotel kept saying, "We have a laundry service..." but I had looked at that and it cost something like ten euros to wash one pair of jeans!! I wanted to do the whole lot of dirties for that! Finally someone told me of a laundromat but I would have had to take a bus, then walk several blocks. So, after inventory-ing our undie situation, we determined we could make it to England with what we had.

Me standing by a big rock and the Bay of Finland.

The walking path through this beautiful park.

That evening Loy finished up his grading (yes, he actually worked while on this trip) and submitted it to Wesleyan. Then we were up at 3:30 a.m. to make it to our flight to England.

It was so great to be back to see our good friends from a few years ago. It felt sort of like we had never left.  Highlights for us were mostly just seeing our dear friends. We worshipped together, had a potluck together, talked and laughed and reminisced. It's so good to be loved!

The after church potluck held at Celia's house. This was the perfect way to spend my birthday!!

At an old tower. Even British kids do bunny ears!! :) This is Caitlyn, Eryna, me, and Loy.

Luke used to love this boy. He called him "That Cute Little Guy" because, when we were here before, he was about 1-1/2 and wore little man clothes. His name is Judah Skinner and you should probably remember that name. He'll be famous one day!

I love British signs!! They are so darned descriptive!!! :)

The trip home took 30 hours or so. We got back to Lincoln at 3:00 a.m. It was a fitting bookend to our trip. The trip TO Estonia also took about 30 hours. And we got in there at 3:30 a.m. It's really fun to travel, but it's true...there's no place like home!!!

5-22-13 Flying to Estonia

Hello there!

We just got back from a trip to Europe (don't we sound so ritzy...we were just in Europe, Dahlink.) I emailed the kids several times and thought I'd just use those as my blog. In case you care...

When Loy first mentioned the possibility of traveling to Estonia my first reaction was "Where is that, exactly?" So I'm including a map of Europe to show you. Former Soviet Union. Got their independence in 1991 or 1992. 

So, your next question is probably, "Why, exactly, would you choose to go there?" Wesleyan has a sister university in Tartu, Estonia. NWU sends a few students over there to study abroad and they send a few over here. The problem has been that when NWU students go over there for a semester their courses do not count for credit. The mission of our trip was for Loy and Thom (the other professor) to meet with their business department and talk about what each of their business classes covers and see if credits could be granted.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Frankfort, Germany, Airport

Well, this trip is turning into a l-o-n-g one, that's for sure. First the flight from Lincoln was delayed by 90 minutes, which made us miss our connecting flight to Frankfort which made us miss our connecting flight to Estonia (Taillin). And each flight has just barely been missed--just by 30 minutes or so. It's disheartening. 

We finally got on a plane to Frankfort (well, three of the five in our party did) and left at 10:15 last night. It was a 9 hour flight. Sarah is the director of the study abroad program at NWU. She's traveled quite a bit and has been SOO helpful throughout the whole trip! I just can relax figuring Sarah will take care of it all. Wonder if she knows how much we are leaning on her!! I hope we can make it home without her...she leaves earlier than we do.

The other couple traveling with us, the Jackman's, didn't get on our flight. They were told it was booked full. So they went to stay overnight with his brother in Chicago and will fly from Chicago to Philadelphia to Frankfort to Taillin, but get to our hotel a whole day late. The big kicker to this was that it ended up Loy ahd two empty seats right next to him. But, they had thought that being standby would be futile and didn't want to waste 4 hours sitting in an airport to be told they couldn't get on the plane. Bummer. 

Now we sit and wait for our 8:15 p.m. flight to Taillin. Not many flights go there, evidently. After we arrive there we have a 2-1/2 hour bus ride to Tartu, where we camp out until Wednesday. (Well, not literally camp.) 

I'm done with 1 of my many books I brought along and well into the 2nd book. Have't even broken out the crossword puzzles yet. And my supply of snacks is still holding out. My carryon bag is so darned heavy, though. I was overweight in my suitcase (and my body, I guess) and had to stuff 4 pounds of M & M's (in case you think this explains the overweight body, they are thank you gifts for our hosts in England!) and all the books in my carryon to get my suitcase light enough. Therefore I sit here and make Loy go do things like get our boardidng passes and drinks. 

That crazy boy came straight from work, so he's still wearing a tie. I think that'd kill me!! At least loosen it up, Loy!!

Airports here are much more accommodating to English than we are to any other language. I'm glad, but it does make us Americans seem like jerks. 

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Tartu, Estonia

On the flight from Frankfort to Tartu we had maybe the worst parents ever behind us. They had one kid--little Maxey. The Dad spoke English, the wife, Estonian. Sweet little Maxey (about 3-years-old) spoke Estonian but could understand English.

First off, he would talk loudly. Saying the same thing over and over and over--in increasing volumes. "Olen natuke eesti kiuslik. Goble-de-gook." Then again,  "Olen natuke eesti kiuslik. Goble-de-gook." And, finally, finishing up with,  "Olen natuke eesti kiuslik. Goble-de-gook." Each one louder than the last.

At one point the Dad told the little cherub to put his tray table up. Maxey did not like that. So the dad, in all his wisdom, said, "You have to put the table up or I'll talk to the captain and he will tell you what a naughty boy Maxey is being." The dad then proceeded to have a "talk" with the imaginary captain who was just out of Maxey's line of sight, saying how naughty the boy was. Geesh. Just make the kid put the tray table up.

We finally made it to Tallin, about 11:30, knowing we had to rush to make it to the 12:30 last but to Tartu. We stood by the carousel, waiting and waiting. Yep. You guessed it. Our luggage was nowhere to be found. Finally we made it to the bus, with just moments to spare (Thank you, Lord!) and endured the long ride. 

The bus ride was 2-1/2 hours, so it was about 3:15 a.m. by the time that we got to the hotel. Our hotel is pretty much right downtown, so when we got here we saw the streets just full of people sitting out eating and drinking. Our room doesn't have a/c, just a radiator, so I opened the window to let some air in. It was so loud!! I finally got up and closed it, and am hoping that was just a Saturday night thing and that tonight is quiet. 

Today we went out first thing to buy a new outfit each. We found a store that was sort of Younkers-esque and got some things. Tonight Loy's suitcase made it here, but mine has not shown up yet. They said tomorrow. The Jackman's didn't get here until just now and neither of their suitcases made it either. Thom's is supposed to be here late, late tonight. But Caitlyn's is lost. They have no idea where it is. Of course she had gone out and bought some new clothes for the trip, so she's wanting to shop tomorrow right away. The guys have meetings all day long, so it'll just be the two of us for the whole day and until after supper. 

Most people speak English here, but there have been some that don't. The town center is really clean and kind of cool--lots of outdoor seating for the cafes. They even have blankets over the chairs so that you can wrap up while you eat outside. We did that today for our lunch--lunch that consisted of dessert. The desserts are really yummy here!!

The Leaning House--right on the Town Center

Monday, May 13, 2013

Tartu

Letter to the Kids:

Dear Kids Whom I Have Always Lectured Against the Evils of Drug Usage and Being Around Things that are Bad Influences:

I have forwarded this picture to you guys to get your opinion. Kaylyn and I went to a restaurant and sat down and then noticed two different tables that had these at them. IS THIS DRUG RELATED???? We started laughing and I took this picture very surrepticiously and then walked out before even ordering. We're wild women!! In retrospect we realized we were both sort of coughing on our way up the stairs to this place. Now we wonder if something was in the air. I didn't smell anything bad, though. Maybe this is not a drug thing...but it seemed suspicious to me. 

So we went to a steak house instead and got the meat plate and split it. It was just that. A carving board of meat. But I thought it was going to be warm sizzling meat. They had some beef with carmelized onions (cold), some bear meat sausage (cold), some canned chicken mediterranean (cold), some ham (cold, two slices of brown bread that had fruit in it, and some pickles and olives. Kind of a disappointment. 

Afterwards we went to this sumptuous dessert place and had tea and dessert. Mine had raspberries and whipped cream and meringue and was wonderful. Kaylyn had something with strawberry and cream and chocolate. Both were extremely good. The men were busy all day and evening (back at the hotel for a couple hours this afternoon is all) so we occupied ourselves.

Dad's suitcase showed up last night and mine showed up by morning, so I'm good. The Jackmans didn't get either of their suitcases either, so today we went out and I shopped with Kaylyn. For a long time. I feel like I really know the Tartu-ian malls. I had bought one outfit yesterday and then I found another today I liked, so have a couple new things. 

It gets light here around 4:00 a.m. and right now it is 10:11 and just starting dusk. Lots of people have been out on the streets both nights, sitting at the outdoor cafes.

Tartu

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Tartu

We had fun the last days in Tartu. Kaylyn and I took a long walk around Tartu and saw the town. We climbed up into the old ruins of a 14th or so century church. With both of us being afraid of heights, it was kind of comical! But we goaded each other into going. I kept singing in my mind, "Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming" from "Finding Nemo." Kaylyn wore her very high wedge shoes, I was amazed she could even walk. I was worried she'd trip and fall on the narrow stone steps. I think she only brought two pairs--flip flops and these wedges. She kept up, though. I would've thought her feet would be killing her!!

We started going to the little "Antik" shops we came across. Sometimes we would have to go down a short flight of stairs to get to the basement. But you really felt like you were discovering something. In one store we went in there was an old lady (the owner or clerk) sitting there while we looked around. It was a rather nice antique store, so I was not too interested. I like my antique shops to be more like junk shops. If it's under glass, I'm not interested. Anyhow, we were about the leave and the lady looked up and said, "I het you." We both sort of paused in our exit and said, "What?????" We both thought she had just told us that she hated us.  She repeated it, but this time we heard "I hep you." For a minute there we thought she had real problems!! No wonder no one else was in the store!!!

That day we went to the open market and bought some strawberries, the indoor meat market and bought some cheese, the grocery store to buy some bread (the fresh bread is on this lazy suzan thing and you pick out which loaf you want and then bag it. Then you have to enter the bread number into a machine and it prints out the price. We were partial to number 55. We also got a few slices of roast beef and some lemonades and had ourselves a lovely picnic. There was even a sidewalk musician playing the accordion near. It was very European. We were so proud of ourselves.

As we were sitting there Kaylyn had just mentioned how no one must feed the birds in this park because they were not coming anywhere near us. Then one showed up. Kaylyn was a wonderful traveling partner, but she is a germophobe and a birdophobe. So one bird was creepy to her. Then came another. And another. Soon we had our own little entourage!! She would take one of our plastic sacks and shake it at the birds to try and get them to leave. They might back off a little, but not too much. 

That night we went out to dinner with the Tartu University faculty (finally!) The men had taken a tour with a guy named Mark who was a young, really entertaining guy. We went to a very nice restaurant. They asked if we wanted any appetizers. I had asked Mark what was Estonian on the menu and he had pointed out this one appetizer...sprats. So we got a couple orders of that and shared. It was basically a sardine on little black bread with a quail egg and their spicy mustard. Not bad. Mark said this was something they would have at home when he was growing up.

Another Estonian appetizer we got was brown rye bread (no caraway seeds, very molasses-y). It had been fried (not toasted, fried) and then you would take a big clove of garlic and rub it on the bread, then eat. It was delicious!! 

This is me in the ruins I mentioned. 

I find this statue really creepy. The Estonians are so proud of it. It is the sculptor and his son, both naked and both made the same size. I don't know why, but I hate it. And, interestingly enough, there are specific body parts on these guys that are very bright shiny brass--guess they've been rubbed. 

Here is the hookah. What would YOU have thought?? I am very naive and was sure we'd come across an opium parlor or some drug house.

Loy loves bacon.

I like to take pictures of funny signs. As near as I can tell from this one, you need to beware of beds in the road. That can spell trouble.

This one is kids running to get their sunglasses. Must be really bright there.

First, this is important because it has an exclamation point. Very graphic. Cars kissing.

I'll talk about the Tallin part of our trip in a couple days. Right now I need to do some more laundry!

Kitt.

4-27 Ever do something really stupid?

My mother, Eileen, was a master furniture rearranger. She would rearrange quite often, totally swapping furniture from one room to another. Legend has it that she moved a sofa-bed up a flight of stairs single handedly. She always did it alone, no help. Now, there was a woman!!

Loy's family does not rearrange furniture. Once it is in place, it stays there forever. (Right, Dolores?) So the whole concept of making a room feel new by moving furniture around is totally foreign to him. And to move it just to try it out--and risk putting it right back in two weeks?? Absurd!!

I inherited Eileens' furniture moving genes. I love nothing better than to start moving furniture around and try and maneuver it around and into a new configuration...sort of like a druggie's high for me. My sister hates to move furniture. I can't figure that out. She is more like my mom in personality and looks, but she does NOT have the furniture moving compulsion.  I don't know about my brothers. All I can say is that, basically, their furniture has been the same whenever we go visit.

Loy and I have been married for 32 years. We get along pretty well. There are certain things we really excel at:

1. Moving to another city--we're all over it. We rock at making all those arrangements. 
2. Traveling--we do pretty well at that. We both like about the same level of activity on a trip.
3. Sitting on the porch--we love to sit out on our back porch and just do our own things. Very nice.

However, there are things that we sort of bump heads on. Things that we have learned to choose to do solo:

1. Grocery shop--Loy sort of cramps my style. He doesn't always think we need what I think we need.
2. Kayaking--the time we did it and shared a kayak was not good. He kept telling me I was doing it wrong and I kept telling him he was supposed to follow my lead (I WAS in the front, after all!) (BTW, I liked the kayaking. I just think we need separate kayaks in the future!)  :)
3. Traveling to places where there are loud people and lots of spontaneous events--that effectively bans Loy from any Rogers reunions!! :)  
4. Moving furniture--Loy has the mistaken idea that you need to know where everything is going to go before you even move the first piece of furniture. And he also doesn't feel the obsession to do it NOW. He may want to wait a day or two. When that creative rearranging muse hits you, you've got to obey!!

So, that's why I was moving furniture around by myself yesterday. 

I had ordered a new TV stand. Well, more than just a stand. It's like a sort of tall dresser, 48 inches wide, with drawers and openings to fit the DVD player and satellite box. Really cool. Really heavy.

Have you ever noticed that sometimes it just takes one little thing to make you want to redo the whole room? That one thing, this time, was the new TV stand. It fit so well in one corner, if only I moved the six foot tall shelves that were there. Where would they go? Dining room. But, there is not room, so I scooted it in there and just left it sitting in the middle of the room. I had an idea, but couldn't pull it all together by myself. Drat. (There is one shelving unit that I need help with, darn it.)

The old TV stand, a sad little formica affair, is extremely heavy and hard to move because it has a swivel in it. I got the TV off of it and did a makeshift deal of putting it on a chair that had wheels so I could move it. (It's a flat screen, not that heavy, but is big, so is awkward to do anything with. Usually I wait for two people, but I just couldn't stop myself this time.) 

But then I had to scoot the old stand. I am very creative in my scooting. I don't lift furniture. I scoot it. This wasn't scooting. So I sat down and was pushing with my feet. Not realizing my back was against the chair with wheels. I gave one terrific push and...you guessed it...the TV came crashing down on my head. 

I said, "Ouch!" Then, even though I was all alone I said, "Kitt, are you OK?" I just sat there for a bit. Then I thought maybe I should lay down, just in case something bad happened. But, you know what? Nothing bad did happen. After about 5 minutes I got up and pushed the TV stand some more. And finished the living room. 

And have I mentioned that a month ago I had a bulging disc and could barely walk and am still going through physical therapy?  I am dumb. 

But that incident has bothered me. It scares me at what could've happened. I could've been lying there dead when Luke came at 4:30. I could have brain damage. (Maybe I already do!) But, in one crazy incident things could've changed. I was thinking all about taking Luke to a birthday party that night and I could've been hospitalized. 

Luke 12:16-21

¹⁶ Then he told them a story: “A rich man had a fertile farm that produced fine crops. ¹⁷ He said to himself, ‘What should I do? I don’t have room for all my crops.’ ¹⁸ Then he said, ‘I know! I’ll tear down my barns and build bigger ones. Then I’ll have room enough to store all my wheat and other goods. ¹⁹ And I’ll sit back and say to myself, “My friend, you have enough stored away for years to come. Now take it easy! Eat, drink, and be merry!”’

²⁰ “But God said to him, ‘You fool! You will die this very night. Then who will get everything you worked for?’

²¹ “Yes, a person is a fool to store up earthly wealth but not have a rich relationship with God.”

Just goes to show you...you don't know what tomorrow will bring--or even today!

But, back to my story. I got the room done, took the fake plants (the only kind I can grow) in and gave them a much needed bath, got things all rearranged and looking good. Vacuumed and dusted. All in the living room. I still have one set of shelves to trade out--dining room to living room--and one set of shelves to move to Loy's office. But, the living room looks great. And I love the new TV stand. Much easier to see the TV!

I'm wondering if I'm getting too old to be doing all this furniture moving. But, what's the alternative? I don't have boys around anymore who will move things for me. (Unless, Corey, you want to come over and help today???)  :)  There are all sorts of jobs that are kind of hard for me, but I've always done them. Should I give them up? 

It makes me think of my wonderful father-in-law. He has certain limitations lately, things he's had to give up because of age and health. It's easy for me to sit here and say that, "Of course he should give this or that up. It's just smart." But when it's me having to give things up for good, I'm not so quick to release. I don't want to be a burden and make people help me all the time. I don't want people to say that it's a bad idea and not do exactly what I want. I just want it done now, on my time, not at your convenience. I want people to marvel at how independent I am--and I am!! Mom said that from the start, when I was two and decided I no longer needed a nap. (What kind of fool was I, anyway??? I LOVE a nap now!)

Today the top of my head kind of hurts. I scraped my knuckle and whenever I bend it, it starts bleeding. Poor pitiful me. But, I've still got those shelves to move and those big rocks in the backyard that need to be moved and the garage to sweep and I've promised a certain 7-year-old a bike ride in 22 minutes. 

But my living room looks tremendous, if I do say so myself!

Kitt.

This picture has nothing to do with my story. I just love it. My little Sweet Patootie after giving herself an oatmeal hair masque. Maybe if I had this on my hair the TV wouldn't have hurt so much!!  :)

4-14-13 Weddings...and Chickens

We just got back from a fun wedding weekend in Kansas City. Our really great friends, the Eckloffs, hosted the wedding of their daughter, Jill, to Nick Turner. It was a wonderful, God-honoring ceremony, followed by a fun reception-dance.

We had the privilege of taking Lukie with us to Kansas City. He was rather disgruntled that there was no pool or hot tub at our hotel, but, once he got over that, he enjoyed holding a three-week-old baby and seeing the brothers (well, part of the brothers...Paul, Corey, and Matt Allen.) He hung with them at the reception and was out on the dance floor and in the conga line with them.

A highlight for him was when a 10-year-old boy told him, "I liked your moves. You're a great dancer." And then when he ended up with twenty glow sticks! He said, "People I didn't even know were giving me their glow sticks!!" Molly told him that he can freeze a used glow stick and then re-crack it. He's going to try that tonight.

Some friends are closer than family...these people are those people. You can go months without seeing them and, when you are back together, it's just like old times. I would trust them with my life and their children are like my children. Love you guys!!

But, I don't know what this new trend is, but some of the weddings I've been going to lately are not including "The Chicken Dance" in their line-ups. I don't want to seem like a total hick, but this just cannot continue. The Chicken Dance is a mandatory dance at ALL weddings. End of story.

Let me tell you of one of my embarrassing moments, though. Last summer we were at Wes and Ashley Hiser's wedding with Luke. At the reception we ended up sitting at a table right off the dance floor. The dance had begun and we hadn't gotten out on the floor yet. In fact, no one had even though the DJ had music on. I walked up to the DJ and requested The Chicken Dance because it is one of Luke's favorites. I didn't request it for RIGHT THAT MOMENT, though. I thought later, when the ice had been broken.

The DJ immediately started playing a sort of strange version of that song. Right away. And we were sitting right there where he could see me, so I thought, "Well, we have to go out." So, I dragged Loy and Luke out on the dance floor. Luke, of course, got very shy, but Loy and I did a wonderful solo performance of this dance--solo until Ashley's sister and her family felt sorry for us and came out and joined us. But, Loy and I were a tremendous chicken-dancing team.

When we got home we had a little time before I had to take Luke back to Phoebe's, so I went out and watched him shoot hoops in the driveway. Whatever game he was playing, it had strange rules. There was a lucky line, a life line, a check line, a beth line (yes, beth. I have no clue what that means), a death line, and a horror line. Evidently you had a certain amount of luck and each time you missed a shot, you used up one luck. But when you made a shot you got more luck. BUT, if you said "Practice shot" before you shot, you wouldn't lose your luck. BUT, then if it happened to go in, you would say, "No, that wasn't a practice." If it didn't go in, you said that you meant to miss that one and come in and rebound. Strange game. You talk as much as you play in this one.

Some of you have heard my dog obedience school story, but I want to write it down, since MY dog is evidently so envied by other dogs.

I signed Pip and me up for Small Dog Obedience. Loy cannot go the night it is offered, so I just picked the wilder of the two doggies to accompany me. Then I will homeschool Sparky. In the midst of a big thunderstorm, Pip and I set off. She has issues with traveling. We never take her anywhere, so she gets incredibly nervous. And how she demonstrates this attack of nerves is to...drool. Major drool. We're talking puddles on the backseat. I happened to look back at her and she was actually frothing at the mouth! She looked like a rabid dog!! I laughed out loud and told her she should lick her lips--that she looked stupid!!

We got in the huge room where the class was. We were in one of three rings with probably nine other dogs. I was talking to the owner next to me when she just pointed at Pip. Pip who was in full squat laying down a pile...not a tower...of poo. Right there in front of everyone!! The teacher said, "if your dog happens to have an accident (all heads turned to me) we will be happy to hold your dog while you clean it up." They brought me the sack for the offending tower along with paper towels and some spray cleaner. I tried to neatly pick up the poo, but it was the type that didn't all come up in the sack. So I was down on my hands and knees scrubbing the floor to get it cleaned up while they held Pip.

Or while they TRIED to hold Pip. She got the better of them and slipped out of her collar and was, by this time, running free throughout the three rings. Get the mental picture...I'm on my hands and knees on the floor, holding a bag of poopie, scrubbing at the floor, and yelling at Pip to come here. I'm sure all the other dogs were thinking, "THERE'S the dog I want to be!!!" Finally we got her re-collared, I deposited the offending matter outside in the dumpster, and class could resume.

We rocked sit and mastered her name. And she didn't totally bomb the "Crash" command. I felt redeemed. Until I went over to talk to someone I knew there who had two naughty wiener dogs. (Well, I guess they weren't pooping in the ring, but they didn't do any of the tricks and barked the whole time.) My friend's daughter dropped the leash so one of the wiener dogs attacked Pip. Well, Pip couldn't take that attitude problem without fighting back, so we had a dog fight. Of course, none of the teachers or their helpers saw that this wiener dog attacked my little baby, so we have three black marks next to our name, I'm sure.

All that in one week of class!! We have six total lessons. I came home and tried to teach it all to Sparky. For Crash she kept laying on her back, legs in the air. She has no clue.

Loy and I are taking a Ballroom Dancing class with our friends, Gary and Anna. We've only had one class there also. We learned the waltz and the swing. Or the beginning steps of each. Loy feels like he's no good, but there were lots of men worse than he was. He said that I just picked it up so quickly and my response was that I should. Years of dancing lessons growing up and two years on the dance team at school. I should be able to pick this sort of thing up. We thought of trying one step at the wedding dance, but the song was awfully quick and I didn't think we were there yet. I thought it was fun. Loy, probably not so much, but he's being a great sport about the whole thing.

I finally finished doing a book of my England blog, complete with all my pictures. It came out to be 200 pages!! I can't believe that! Kind of an expensive little book for me! I did it through Blurb and it's a real hardcopy book. It was so fun to re-read all I had written. I'd forgotten lots of the things we did and people we met. I loved re-living it all.

That's it for here, folks. Have a great week!

Kitt.

 This is Nick and Jill during their first dance as a married couple. She looked like a princess!

Here is Paul, Matt, Kathy, and Luke bustin' a move.

Here is the conga line, Paul, followed by Luke, followed by Emily toting Kayla. 

4-2-13 Think Spring!

Well, it's April now. YAY! This winter really was not too harsh or snowy or bad, but I am sure ready to bid it adieu!! Most people, however, really love spring. I'm afraid I'm not one of them. Spring is always a disappointment for me.

I want it to be so warm and sunny and green. But it is not. It is usually colder than I want (probably due, in part, to the fact that I'm putting on shorts when it's 50 degrees, just because I can!) It rains on the most inopportune days--days when I have outdoor things planned. Then, just as you're adjusting to warmer temps--it snows or something inconvenient like that.

I love what it portends, though. Warm, relaxed times out on the patio. Running outside barefoot. Walks outside. Windows open. (Yes, I know...all seen through a very Pollyanna-ish view. Humidity, tornadoes, drought, mosquitos.) But I love summer. Really. Bring it!

I guess I haven't written in awhile. My #1 Fan (my mother-in-law) was commenting on how there have been no posts lately. It's so nice to have a Fan like her! She's also a huge fan of the Duggar family ("19 Kids and Counting" on TLC). The Duggars are friends with my sister, Bunny. So, last fall Bunny was commenting to Michelle Duggar how her sister's mother-in-law was a huge fan and could name all the kids. Michelle said she couldn't even do that! :)  Anyhow, she sent greetings to Dolores through Bun to me to Dolores. That made Dolores so happy.

Then, when Bunny was telling Michelle how much Dolores liked that, Michelle offered to give her two books they have written. And she autographed them. I added the first four seasons of the show (DVD) and we had ourselves a great gift. Dolores is watching them DVD's and reading the books and loving it!

We had a physical therapy intern living with us for three months--Suzi. She finished her internship last Friday and now we're back to just Loy and me (and the two beasties). We have counted and have had at least 15 different people live with us for months at a time throughout the years. It's kind of funny. We never think, "Hmm. Let's find someone to rent out our room." We just hear about these people. I like to think that God brings them here personally.

Gee, I'm the one writing this blog and it's boring me to death. People tell me that I should write a book...well, there are many, many boring entries. I'm not sure if they are book material! I am working on compiling all my England blogs into a book--complete with all our pictures. It's been so fun to re-read all those experiences. I had forgotten many of the details. (Right now it's 200 pages!)

Speaking of that--and international travel-- we are traveling to Estonia (it's former USSR--near Finland) in May. Wesleyan has a sister university in Tartu, Estonia, and they want two business professors to go over and talk to their business department. I will tag along. After a week in Tartu Loy and I will head off to Huddersfield to see our friends there. I'm very excited to take this trip! Luke says it is no fair that we get to go to England without him.

We took Luke to the Shrine Circus a few weeks ago. He sat there through the show just mesmerized. At one point he said, "THANK YOU for bringing me to the circus!!" Does a heart good!! His favorite act was the BMX bikers. At one point then did a total flip off their ramp. He thought that was totally great! Phoebe probably needs to keep an eye on him while he's riding his bike now--he may be trying to recreate the act!  :)

Next weekend Loy is living a childhood dream...he is taking Luke to see the Globetrotters. He said he has wanted to see them since he was about 9-years-old. I'm so glad he gets to do this. Luke is excited too, but he didn't know what they were until he'd watched some YouTube videos of their act.

HE IS RISEN!! Easter was quiet for us. No kids came to church with us. Lex and Corey came over for supper, which was great. They are looking for a house to buy in Omaha. Right now I think they're thinking of building, but no firm decisions have been made. She's been commuting to her job since January and is tired of the drive.

I've been thinking, lately, of my life. What am I doing that I am doing ONLY because I am a Christian?  I'm afraid that I'm not too sure if there is anything. I mean, I was raised in a Christian home, so my morals and values are, basically, Christian. Even if I wasn't saved I would probably not smoke or steal. My motives would be different, but I'm not too sure my actions would be.

I'm not going to wrap this one up for you...I haven't gotten my answer yet. But it is a thought-provoking question, at least to me. What does God want me to do that goes totally against my own will--totally against what I would naturally do?

I'd better go get ready for work now. Sorry for the dullness today.

Happy Spring!

Kitt.


Here's our little Payton having a great time in the ball pit! Love that girl!! She turns one this Friday!