Happy Thanksgiving to All!
It was a wonderful weekend. The wonderfulness began on Tuesday when I went in to work and my boss told me that, if I would like, I could work a bit late on Tuesday and take Wednesday off!! Do you think I took her up on that? Of course!!
At 7:00 a.m. Paul went over and picked Luke up for a "Boys Only" drive up to Sioux Falls. Luke kept saying he was on a "road trip" with Paul. And Paul definitely knows how to road trip! Then, while Paul was touring 9 apartments (he's moving up there next month) Luke was with Grant and Angela and the cousins. They went to a park and played and played with Payton and went out to eat for "Man Night."
"Man Night" (a/k/a Gorge Yourself on Meat and Junk Food, Play Lots of Video Games, and Burp As Much as Possible Night) is celebrated annually on the Wednesday evening prior to Thanksgiving. It originated back in November 2005 with the Watley Boys and Matt Stull and has evolved to a multi-generational event. While the female species is allowed to cook and shop for this evening, they are not included in the festivities, thank goodness! :)
Thursday was full of wonderful family and tremendous food. Loy's parents, Loy's brother and family, Alexis and Corey and Enoch, Grant and Angela and Payton, Paul, and Luke. Logan and Jenna were on the rotation to go to her side of the family this year, so we muddled through without them. Highlights? Seeing Dolores walking back and forth in front of her new holographic picture to see it change. Naming all the Duggar kids. Watching some of the kids playing basketball out in the backyard.
We came home on Friday evening (after watching the Husker game). Bo Pelini can thank Dolores for the win. When things looked a little grim she got out her musical Husker hat and began playing that for inspiration. I'm sure the team felt the good vibe and picked it up after that. Then we had to drop Luke off, our visit being over.
Paul was here, in and out, for this past week. He had some trouble connecting with any friends but did manage a few meals out with buds. Next semester he is transferring to University of Sioux Falls where he will work towards his MBA. He found an apartment and will begin to look for a job once he gets up there in a few weeks.
Now, the crashing part. Saturday night it just hit me like a pile of bricks. I felt about 100-years-old, like life has just passed me by. The best is over. My kids are no longer in my home. My hair is graying and my jowls are falling. I wear bifocals and can't always see things clearly. While I love my job, it does keep me from the motivation to do things like decorate for Christmas. My dogs poop on the floor. My little boy doesn't live here anymore and I can remember little things like singing in church with him. The life I always dreamed of happened some time in my 30's. Isn't this depressing???
How did this happen? I don't think I like the highlights of my life being those few times when we can all get together. (Although I have a great trip planned for all of us in June!) I need to work on finding what this stage of life looks like and EMBRACING it. Not focusing on mourning how it used to be. I grumped then, too.
Usually I think I am a pretty upbeat person. My life went on when first my mom and then my dad died when I was in my 20's. I didn't mourn when the kids went off to college. I kept my sense of humor through cancer. I'm pretty sure this funk will pass tomorrow morning. But, for today, I feel sad.
Crash.
I'll go pet the naughty dogs. And give Loy a hug. Maybe take a long bath and read a book.
God will carry me in His arms. (Ps. 68:19b) and I'll snuggle up to Him and just rest.
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