10-23 Flying: The Dream

Back in the day, when Loy and I were just young and carefree and starting to have a tiny bit of money to invest, we met with an investment counselor. He asked us what our goals were. We were so clueless!! We came up with very few. The only one I can even remember is that we said we wanted to be able to travel and take nice vacations. The counselor was rather stunned...he said our goals were really more modest than about anyone he'd ever counseled. That's probably just a nice way to say we were living in a naive little dream world!!

We HAVE travelled quite a bit...vacations to Michigan, Florida, Texas, Colorado (Dude Ranch), Georgia (private island), Jamaica, Bahamas, Hawaii, San Diego, Table Rock Lake, Minnesota, Mt. Rushmore (Or Mt. Mushroom, as little Paul used to say), Cancun, Phoenix, Maine, Outer Banks, Seattle...just to name those that come to mind right away. Some in motels, some in cabins, some at resorts, some with family. I've tried to mix it up each year, although my heart is ALWAYS at the beach.

I get an idea and then become obsessed with trying to find the perfect spot. I'll scour the internet (before the internet it was scouring travel books and magazines.) I'll look up reviews and try to find out of the way places or something unusual. I'll look at probably hundreds of places before one, for some strange reason, will sort of jump out at me and I'll think, "Hey. Maybe this is IT." And we've been pretty happy with most of our trips.

So, it is not surprising that I've become obsessed with "House Hunters International" (HHI) I started out with just a little recreational "House Hunters" addiction. But then, soon, it wasn't enough. I had to watch both shows. Then "House Hunters" didn't even touch my need. I just became annoyed at those people. And the houses seemed so much the same. Just hardcore HHI for me.

In case you've been living in a cave, HHI is a show about people who are looking to rent or buy a place to live in a foreign country. I tell myself that I watch it to see what other cultures are like. Right. And some men get "Playboy" to read the articles.

Here are some truths I have learned from "HHI."

1. Life in the US is hectic and busy. The only way to escape that is to move to another country.
2. Tell the realtor that you want to live explore the country's culture. Then pick out a house that is as close to a house here in the US as is possible.
3. Living near the city center is always a must.
4. You cannot survive without at least three bedrooms and 2 bathrooms.
5. Act extremely amazed and surprised when they show you the dorm-sized refrigerator.
6. You must be near the beach.
7. Everyone must have room to entertain. (Maybe that is why life seems so hectic...we're always entertaining!)
8. When it comes time to state your budget, tell the realtor much, much less than you can pay. They will ignore whatever you say anyway.
9. Go into any house and whine about how the floors are not too nice or that it's too cramped or that the kitchen is not modern or the bathroom is small. All these things MUST be changed immediately.
10. If you can imaging yourself sitting out on the patio having a cup of coffee or drinking a glass of wine, it must be the place for you.

I find myself wishing I was moving to these countries for a time. Then I realize, "We did that!" I wasn't in on the apartment hunt, but we did live in a foreign country for a year. That was us!! We can take another sabbatical in 2016 (I think). I'm starting to work on Loy now--studying at University of Bahamas sounds good, doesn't it?

Loy emailed me an article from the Wall Street Journal about a retired couple who sold their house and lives out their dream of travel. They go wherever they want in the world and live in different cultures for 4-6 weeks in each place. They rent a vacation rental type house and just absorb the culture. It sounded really cool to me. Without having to pay for house payments or insurance or utilities, their investments give them $6,000/month. Sometimes they overspend (depending on where they're living). But then they'll pick some really cheap place for the next place to balance it out. Some days they play tourist. Others they just stay home and do laundry or take a walk. I kind of liked that idea. When traveling from one continent to another they take cruises that are moving their ships. The cruise may take 2-3 weeks (from US to Europe) but it's slow and they adjust to the time difference slowly and it's cheap if you time it right. Sounds great to me!

The "fly in the ointment" is family. Living in England for ten months about killed me--I missed out on the planning for two of my kids' weddings. I couldn't see my friends or family. I was lonely. As much as I love Loy, I don't think he'd be enough for me week in, week out!  (Sorry, Honey!) And, now that we have a GrandSweetie, how could I ever leave that bundle???

But, it's something to dream about. Who knows....

10-17 Soaring...for Awhile

This past summer, when it became evident that we were going to be forced down the road towards living Luke-less, Loy and I decided that we needed to have something fun in the works. Something to do together after all this hurt and sadness. Something to prove that life will go on and we will have fun.

If you don't know me well you may not realize that I absolutely LOVE to plan vacations. It's almost as much fun to plan as it is to go. I scour the internet, looking for the perfect spot to suit my agenda for the trip. It becomes an obsession until I make my decision. I've taken our family to Maine to stay in an old house on the Penobscot Bay. We've stayed on the Little Glenn Lake in Michigan. Dude ranch in Colorado. Private island off the coast of Georgia. (I don't think Jamaica and Hawaii count, as my good friend planned those...we just tagged along.) Some have been better than others, but all have had their highlights.

For this trip we had some criteria:  we only had Thursday at 4:00 p.m. until Tuesday night; we didn't want a city this time--we craved quiet, restful, calm; a beach would be wonderful; if I'm going to the beach, I want my cabin to be ON THE BEACH (not one house in, not across a street. I want to go out my door and be on the beach); warm. Do you get the feel for what I was looking for?

There is a wonderful website (and they're not even paying me to say this!): www.vrbo.com  People list their vacation homes for rent. We have used them several times and always had a good experience. So I typed in my dates and beachfront (being sure to say I wanted something small. We didn't need a "sleeps 20" type house!) One of the choices caught my eye and that was the one we eventually booked--North Captiva Island, Florida.

There is Captiva Island which is beautiful but touristy. Then there is a separate island called NORTH Captiva. Getting there involved us taking two planes from Omaha to Fort Myers. An overnight stay in a hotel, then a taxi ride for an hour to Pine Island Marina, where we caught the ferry to the island. No cars allowed on the island. Golf carts were as wild as it got.

We had to order our groceries ahead of time on the mainland and pick them up on the way because the island has no grocery. There are four restaurants, a boat marina, a shirt/ice cream shop, and a convenience store. That's it. One day we lunched at Barnacle Phil's. Our tab was $53!!! Prices on the island were a bit high.  Our little one room (plus bathroom) cottage was right on the beach, bay side.

I hate to bore you but we slept late, read a lot, walked on all the beaches, picked up shells, played games, and ate. We loved every single minute of it. There was no wi fi in our cottage to Loy's dismay (I personally enjoyed that fact!) He did drive our golf cart over to one of the restaurant's parking lots twice to get on their wireless.

We had a friendly lizard in our cottage, about 3 inches long. We named him "Lenny" and he was our friend until one day I wanted to brush my teeth and he was right there. I told Loy, "You've got to get rid of 'that lizard.'" Loy went in and grabbed his tail. Then he came walking out with just the tail, still moving!! Lenny had ditched the tail.

We saw ten dolphins playing in the water one day. Two turtles. Some impressive bird (I thought it was an eagle--do they live that far south?) The guest book talked about seeing manatees, but we didn't get a glimpse of any of those. And one nasty looking roach-y bug out on the trail.

We drove to Sunset Beach every evening to watch the sunset. I don't know if I have EVER sat and watched a sunset before. We would sit on a stretch of beach probably 300 feet long. One evening two old ladies were walking along the beach talking and shelling and watching the sunset. They meandered in front of us and chose that exact moment to stop and take pictures!! All that beach and right in front of us!! One finally looked around and then realized what they were doing. We all had a laugh over that. It was a fun ritual. Very relaxing.

It was hard to leave such a beautiful place. We felt refreshed and relaxed and ready to retire! We felt like we were really trying our wings.

The problem with our whole rationale behind this trip is that now it is over. While we were gone it was sort of like other vacations we had taken before without Luke. Just a momentary separation.

"Can't you just picture Luke sleeping on this little couch?"

"Wouldn't Luke love to be buried in this white sand?"

"What would Luke think of swimming in the ocean?"

"Luke would think this shell is so cool!"

Now that we're home it feels like loss again. I still think our plan was sound. Maybe I just didn't prepare myself enough for coming home.

On the bright side...tomorrow (Thursday) Luke joins us for a two sleep visit!! YAY!! I talked with him on Sunday and he said, "I want to take a nap but I can't because I'm talking to you." Oh. Since when does he want to take a nap??? In four years I can probably count on one hand the number of times he napped!! I said, "Do you want me to hang up?" He admitted that he would rather stay on the phone with me. I'll take whatever consolation I can!

We're thinking North Captiva Island may be our new fall break tradition. We saw these two birds and thought they represented us...hanging in there together.

10-6 Celebration Party Night

Hello Again,

Yesterday was our first visit with Luke since he left our care. It was so thrilling and hard and complex, all in one.

We had decided ahead of time that we were not going to tell him "We've missed you so much!!!" We have, but we thought that might make him feel bad and discontent and guilty if he didn't miss us when he left. So we have focused on saying, "We are SO GLAD to see you!!!" and trying to emphasize the positive. And we were!

We went and watched his little flag football game on Tuesday. In my mind he would come running across the field, jumping into my arms with the biggest hug you've ever seen. In reality he ignored us during the game. Afterwards we went over to where they were taking pictures and getting snacks. I had to call him over and then had to ask for a hug. He gave it, but didn't talk to us. It was kind of shattering. But I understood. There was, undoubtedly, a lot of confusion..."I live with them now...am I supposed to hug you still?  What can I say? Am I supposed to talk to you?" I'm sure this will lighten as we get more and more visit-history behind us. It was still tough on me.

Last night he came in with huge hugs and kisses. It was glorious.

I've decided to make our every other Friday night just a family night for now. I made his favorite (shrimp and edamame) and he and I whipped up some Rice Krispie treats right before supper. We used goblets for our milk and had candles on the table. (Nothing but the snazziest at my house!) After supper he played with the dogs outside. Then it was shower time.

After he was clean and jammed we played several rounds of UNO. He mopped up on Loy and me. He was so excited, "I won! I won!" That's when the mom in me lectured that you always have to be a good sport and tell the other person "Good Game." He came back with, "Good Game, Losers!" I think we need a little work on our sportsmanship.

We convinced Loy to make the best nachos in the world for our snack (he really is renowned in our family for that), cozied up with a bottle of root beer (isn't root beer always so much better in a glass bottle?) and we watched one of the Muppet movies until really, really late (9:45!!) It was so great to snuggle up with my boy and give him lots of loves and squeezes.

Today was Donut Day with Loy, then we just hung out and read books and baked bread. We also sorted out all the toys in the basement, which was so fun. Many of those toys hadn't seen the light of day for years. All afternoon we sat pretty much side by side and talked to each other on walkie talkies. That was pretty lame and annoying, let me tell you!! And, call me old fashioned, but we did NOT play video games. I'm not going to waste what little time I had on that.

We Watleys are nothing if not exciting, aren't we? But I am convinced that it's the little routines that make things memorable and special. I'm going to try and follow this same game plan for all our visits (but I know there will be exceptions).

I'll admit that, when Luke was in our care, there were Saturdays that just dragged on and on and on...I would think, "Isn't it time to put him to bed yet???" But this weekend the clock hands just seemed to be on fast forward. Before I knew it, it was 4:30 and time to take him back.

But at least now we realize that the sun will still come up tomorrow and that we will see our little guy in 12 sleeps and next time we get two sleeps over here!!! YIPPEE!!

Sleep well, little Lukie. I love you.